


Memories of a Broken Heart

by fox_an_hound



Series: Memories [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Lance, M/M, Tags to be added, back at it again with the angst, but yeah, get ready to feel the feels you didn't want to feel, idk bruh, or maybe you did
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-01-29 14:56:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12633420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fox_an_hound/pseuds/fox_an_hound
Summary: Keith is learning how to stand on his own two feet for the first time in a long time. He's achieved his dream, he's got a job, and he's got amazing friends that he knows he can count on. It's notperfect,but then again, nothing ever is. Life has ups and downs right? Keith knows he can make it through those, except... An icy blast from the past is enough to freeze the blood in his body. Memories long forgotten surge up and over take him.The rug is pulled out from under his feet and he is sent on a wild ride hedidn'tsign up for.Suddenly everything isvery wrong. Life is no longer perfect, the puzzle pieces aren't fitting correctly, the mosaic no longer creates an image. Is Keith going to be able to fix everything or is he going to have to run again?





	Memories of a Broken Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there reader! Just wanna preface this by suggesting you hop on over to the first part of this series, [Thanks for the Memories](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12613968), to get nice and misty-eyed before reading this selection.
> 
> Okipoke! You've read Thanks for the Memories, you've cried, you've longed for this sequel (thank you so much to everyone who left comments! I appreciate you so much!!), so here it is! Er--well... Actually... I'm not posting it all quite yet. I've got over 23k written as of posting this first bit (11/26/17) but apparently I can't write in order like a normal person so I'm still working on it, adding details and such. 
> 
> That being said... Be prepared to break out your tissue boxes again. ~~I'm sorry but also not.~~ And be sure to check the tags with every update! ~~no set update schedule, sorry~~
> 
> For reference:  
> An officer in the military has to go through schooling and get paid while they are in school. (There are 10 Officer ranks in the Air Force)  
> An enlisted member is someone who just goes right into the military. (There are 9 Enlisted ranks in the Air Force)  
> I think that _should_ about cover it for now, but if there anything that you don't understand, please ask!  
>  ~~I haven't been in the military so even though the majority of the information and time lines are accurate, my details could also be false. Please don't hate me if something is misinformation~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****** = A long time has passed between sections  
> \-- = A short time has passed between sections
> 
> There is some spanish in this chapter, but fret not! I have translations in the end notes for you. 
> 
> Enjoy, loves.

It was a long drive to Keith’s aunt’s house. Because he stopped every hour or so, taking personal breaks to calm down and clear his vision, he didn’t make it out of Texas until about three o’clock the next morning. He had looked at the clock on his dash and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before pulling off the highway to find a motel he could crash in.

He had gotten a pitiful four hours, though he had been in the motel for almost double that.

The next day, he only had to drive six hours before he made it to his Aunt’s house.

She, of course, hadn’t exactly expected him to fall through the door looking like what the cat dragged in. He knew he hadn’t looked ok, even if he told her over and over again that he was perfectly fine.

It was then that the phone started ringing, the shrill screaming that only came from rotary phones effectively cutting off his aunt’s pestering questions. She hurried off to answer the phone while Keith moved further into the house, carrying a bag in each hand and moving slowly as if they each weighed a ton.

His aunt’s small dogs followed him excitedly, running around and between his legs, yapping and snapping at each other as they tried to get Keith’s attention.

He had barely made it to the guest room when he heard his aunt’s voice calling for him, telling him the phone was for him.

He hadn’t thought of who it could have been, he was just irate from being interrupted from trying to get more sleep and groaned loudly before dropping his bags in the doorway and stumbling his way down the stairs and into the parlor room where his aunt was standing, speaking on the phone cheerily.

“Oh, here he is for you,” She had said into the receiver before passing it over and moving out of the room, a suspicious smile on her face.

“This is Keith speaking.” He had mumbled, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm and trying to suppress a yawn.

“ _Keith_.”

Hearing that voice had immediately shocked the last of sleepiness from his body. He had frozen in place, trying to convince himself that he was hearing things, “Who… Who is this?” His mouth had been dry, and he gulped before licking his lips.

“What are you talking about? It’s Shiro.” Keith had easily imagined the confused look decorating Shiro’s face. The way his brows pinched together and his lips pursed when he couldn’t quite follow the situation was seared into his memory, “Keith, I’ve been calling all morning! Why didn’t you take your phone? Something could have happened to you!”

Keith had taken a deep breath, not hanging up because he had heard the genuine concern in Shiro’s voice. Underneath it all, he had heard the raspiness, the way Shiro had talked around a lump in his throat. “Shiro, I appreciate your concern, but please don’t call here anymore.”

“Keith, I… I _need_ to know what happens to you.”

“You don’t.” Keith’s words had been quick, sharp, hostile, “We’re not in a relationship anymore, Shiro, so you don’t get to know what happens in my life.”

“I understand that you dumped me,” Shiro had said quietly, “But that doesn’t mean that I can’t care about what happens to you. We were friends before we were boyfriends.”

“We can’t be friends.” Keith remembered whispering, finger curling the cord tightly, “I can’t just be friends with you, Shiro… Not after everything… We need a clean break.”

“I don’t agree.” Shiro had huffed, but Keith had quickly cut him off again.

“This is the only way we can get over each other, Shiro. Absolutely no contact. No calling, no texting, no letters. No correspondence at all.”

Shiro had remained quiet for a few moments, moments that lasted forever in Keith’s mind. He had tried to keep his eyes open, to prevent his tears from falling, but he remembered the wetness falling onto his cheeks.

“This is what you wanted from the beginning, isn’t it?” Shiro’s words weren’t malicious, but they had ruthlessly pierced Keith’s heart all the same.

“I’m sorry.” He had whispered around a sob, “I’m so sorry. I have to go. Goodbye, Shiro.”

He had pulled the phone away from his ear, but it hadn’t stopped him from hearing Shiro’s last words, “Goodbye, Keith. I love you.”

He had hesitated before gently setting the phone back into its cradle. He had stood there long enough for the dogs to come yapping in the room, looking for him. When he had stood up straight, he had wiped his face hastily and started to turn around to go silently to his room when he had seen his aunt standing in the doorway.

She hadn’t been smiling any longer, but when he set eyes on her, she opened her arms to him.

He hadn’t hesitated before falling into them, weeping openly again.

She hadn’t asked him questions, only moved to the floor to cradle him. Even afterwards, she had only asked him what he wanted for dinner and left it at that.

That had been how they had acted around one another for the next week, almost normal except keeping _one topic_ completely off limits.

He had complained the entire time it took to drive to the mall, the entire time it took get in a chair, the entire time it took to cut, _and_ the entire time it took to get home, but his aunt managed to get his head shaved down to regulation. He had been pouty about it, well into walking through the academy doors.

\--

The first question that ran through Keith’s mind when he walked into his room to see his new roommate was: _I’m never going to remember his name_.

The guy’s name wasn’t difficult, but it was just _so common_. And he didn’t have any defining characteristics. His eye color was common, his haircut was exactly the same as Keith’s (and everyone else in the academy), and he was just… Common. He had an average personality.

The worst part was that their names weren’t on their everyday clothes, so Keith couldn’t even cheat.

Keith had taken to making up a name, and since the guy answered it, he continued to call him that.

Keith’s days at the academy were pretty mind-numbing – exactly what he signed up for – but at nights, he was left alone with his fresh memories.

He either spent the time lying awake, tears spilling down the sides of his face as he stared at the dark ceiling, or doing as many pushups and crunches as it took to wear his body down and force himself to fall asleep for a few hours.

It came as a total shock to him when he was told he was being given a new roommate.

It was such a shock that he hadn’t realized it until he ran into Billy walking out of the room with his stuff in a box, “Hey, what’s going on?” He frowned, looking down at the box and back up to his roommate’s face.

“I can’t sleep through your insomniac episodes, so I’ve asked for a room change.” He snipped, shifting his box under an arm, “Lucky for me there’s another insomniac in our squadron, so you two are getting paired together.” He huffed and leaned forward, jabbing a finger into Keith’s chest, “And my name is _Charles._ Honestly! How can you expect to remember everything it takes to become a pilot if you can’t even remember a _name_?”

Keith stood, baffled and slack-jawed, as Charles huffed and repositioned his box before jerking his head behind him toward the room, “Your new roommate is already moved in.”

Keith watched him as he stormed off before shrugging and walking into the room.

He was immediately greeted by a kid much taller than him – _Taller than Shiro, too. No, stop that right now, Keith!_ – and a lot scrawnier than him. His bright smile was a big contrast to his tan skin.

Keith immediately saw things that happy people didn’t notice. The boy’s smile was entirely forced, his eyes were puffy and he had enormous bags under his eyes – actually, they probably rivaled Keith’s. Another thing Keith noticed was that this boy’s hair was not buzzed. It was regulation length, of course, but it wasn’t close to the scalp like Keith’s.

All this, Keith recognized in the time it took the boy to shoot his hand out into the space between them and loudly proclaim that his name was Lance McClain, and that he was twenty-one years old.

Keith looked quickly between the boy’s hand and face before hesitantly taking it, “Uh, I’m Keith… Kogane…” He stated awkwardly, letting his arm be enthusiastically yanked up and down before it was released, “Yeah, I’m twenty-three.” He paused, crossing his arms in front of him as he debated on whether he should try to form a connection with his new roommate, “I’m, uh…” He licked his lips and looked away, “I just got out of a long-time relationship, so I’m not…”

“I’m not looking to get into a relationship, either.”

“…I’m not sleeping well, right now…” Keith looked up at Lance with a confused frown.

Lance paused, eyebrows jumping before his face flushed and he waved his hands wildly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume! I just had a bad breakup, too, so I was… Yeah…” Lance grimaced and reached up to rub his neck, “Can we forget I just said that?” He barked out an awkward laugh, “Anyway, I’m not sleeping that well either.” He huffed, his entire body sagging with it, his happy façade fading quickly.

Keith stood awkwardly, not knowing whether to continue the conversation or not, “So, uh, do you want to talk about it?”

“Do _you_ want to talk about your ex?” Lance quirked an eyebrow.

“Point taken.” Keith shrugged and moved into the room, sidestepping Lance as he did, “I didn’t think I was that hard to get along with, but I guess I was wrong about that.”

“Nah, don’t worry about that. That guy’s a dick anyway. He’s got a stick further up his ass than Iverson.”

Keith smirked with his back turned to his new roommate, “I don’t think that’s medically possible.”

It was quiet after that. Awkwardly quiet. Too quiet.

“Are you _sure_ you don’t want to talk about your ex?” Keith turned around, eyebrow raising as he did, to see his new roommate facing him with his hands clasped behind his back. As they watched each other, the other cadet rocked back and forth on his heels, “I mean… Who better to understand tragic romance than a fellow wallower?”

“I…” Keith paused and straightened his spine, tilting his head a bit and frowning, “I don’t get what you’re trying to say. Do _you_ want to talk about your ex?”

“Yeah.” The other cadet was suddenly meek, rocking stopped and shoulders hunched, “I mean my story isn’t that important – knocked up my high school sweetheart and she ended up bailing soon after the boys were born – but I don’t know it’s just…” He blew his breath out hard, “I still feel like it’s my fault or something, I don’t know. I had to leave them with my mom and-” He suddenly stopped talking, face turning red. “Sorry, you probably don’t care. You said you don’t want to talk exes, so I should shut up.”

Keith frowned before walking backwards to flop onto his bed, “I mean, yeah I _kinda_ do wanna talk about him? But I also want to, like, _completely forget_ about him?”

Lance moved and leaned on the end of Keith’s bed, “I know what that’s like.” He admitted before taking a deep breath and rubbing his hands together slowly, “I know you don’t know me, and you have no reason to trust me, but I think we have a kinship here? We can tell each other everything and then…? I don’t know?”

Keith sat up so that he was sitting closer to Lance, “Yeah… I think that could work? Cause we’re never going to make it in the academy if we’re stuck wallowing in self-pity over our exes.”

“We should have boundaries, though.” Lance added cutting his hand through the air, “Like, I don’t want to just blab anything and everything to you and then make you twice as worried because I’m always talking about myself and then you don’t feel like you can talk?”

“Yeah.” Keith agreed, “We could wait until we get here for personal development time and then we’ll have almost two hours to lift the weight off our shoulders before military training time? And we don’t have to share every night, if we don’t want to.”

“Judgement free zone?” Lance suggested, and Keith nodded, “Doctor-patient confidentiality?”

“I don’t think that quite applies, but I know what you’re trying to say, and I agree. Whatever we say _does not_ leave this room.”

Lance gave one sharp nod before turning to look at Keith from the corner of his eye, “Did you want to start now?”

Keith shrugged, “Sure. Do you wanna go first, or me?”

“You can go first? Since I basically… Told some?”

Keith nodded and took a deep breath before patting the bed next to him, “Settle on in, Lance. It’s a doozy.” He tried to make a joke, to clear his nerves, but it didn’t work. Lance sat next to him, though, eyebrow raised as he waited for the ‘doozy’ of a story.

Keith took another very deep breath and held it for a few moments before he started to spill.

He told Lance everything.

He spared nonessential (very _private_ ) details, but told Lance _everything else_ about his relationship with Shiro.

He told him how they met in elementary school, how even though Shiro was _technically_ a year older than him, they had always been in the same grade. How up until middle school they had even been in the same class every year.

He told Lance how they had helped each other discover their sexualities – how it had started as timid kisses when they slept at each other’s houses in elementary and middle school – how all they did were quick pecks until high school, when they took each other’s first kiss.

“Wait, you were kissing forever?” Lance had interjected, curious, “How was _high school_ when you were each other’s first kiss?”

Keith paused, blushing, “ _You know_.” He tried to get away without saying it, but Lance just shook his head in confusion. Keith ran his hand over his hair – a gesture that had become so common that it was _weird_ not feeling his hair between his fingers, “A _real_ kiss? A kiss that lasts for more than a second? A kiss you share with someone you’re _romantically_ interested in? A kiss you don’t share with your mother?”

Lance chuckled, “Ooooh, okay. Please continue.”

Keith told Lance that Shiro was the only person that Keith had ever looked twice at, but that Shiro had only thought of him as friend for as long as they had known each other. He told Lance how painful it was to watch Shiro get in and out of numerous relationships, how hard it was to comfort Shiro’s broken heart when all Keith could feel was joy because _he had another chance with Shiro._

Tears started to show up when Keith told Lance how he had finally blurted out that he was in love with Shiro. Right before prom, in fact. How he saw Shiro in his tux – his tie knotted all wrong and crooked and the tail longer than the front, his cummerbund too high and upside down, and his shoes untied – almost ready to go to prom with the prettiest girl in the senior class, and he had just blurted out that he loved him.

“’I love you.’ Just like that. I didn’t even know I was going to say it until it was already out of my mouth.”

He did his best to describe in perfect detail how his heart had dropped, how he had blurted it out and immediately turned around and walked right back out of Shiro’s room, then out of Shiro’s house. How he had walked a half mile in the most uncomfortable shoes in his life and walked right into his house and up to his room to hide for the rest of the night.

Lance laughed when Keith sheepishly admitted he had had a date and had left him stranded at Shiro’s house with Shiro and Shiro’s date.

Keith got quiet after that, wringing his hands together before reaching up and pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to quell off his tears. “After prom, and after the after prom – so about three in the morning? – I was asleep in my bed. Actually, now that I think about it, I hadn’t even changed out of my tux.” He frowned then shook his head, “Whatever. Shiro climbed through my window while I was sleeping and just… Curled up with me in bed? And fell asleep? Apparently, he woke me up and kissed me, but I only remember waking up in the morning, wrapped in his arms and scared as shit.”

Keith shook his head and took a breath, “I didn’t know why he was just holding me like nothing was wrong. I had just confessed how I felt for him like some idiot and skipped out on something we promised each other we would go to. But he was just acting like everything was normal?”

Lance didn’t interject, but leaned back on his hands.

“I just stayed in his arms, stiff as a board, until he woke up and started petting me – it isn’t weird. He likes… _Liked_ running his fingers through my hair. And then he just kissed my temple? And then he said that he loved me too. I was like ‘No, Shiro. I _gay-love_ you. I am _in_ gay-love with you. Not friend-love, _gay-love_.’ And he was just like ‘Yeah, Keith, I _know._ I gay-love you too.’”

Lance grinned and leaned over to rest his head on Keith’s shoulder, “That’s adorable as hell.”

Keith flinched at not only the unexpected contact, but the comment as well. In hindsight, yeah it was kind of cute, but living in that moment had been terrifying and confusing all at once. He shrugged and kept talking. “That’s basically how we started dating? We just didn’t tell our parents, so we could continue to sleep in the same bed. I think they knew, though.” He sighed again.

He told Lance how his cat loved Shiro a hell of a lot more than she loved Keith. He glossed over the fact that he left her with Shiro and instead focused how much of a traitor she was.

He told Lance how amazing it was being in a relationship with Shiro, how they would try to out-do each other with surprise dates. How they immediately moved into a quaint apartment together. How Keith took a year off from school so that he could save up enough money to start taking classes. How Shiro immediately became a firefighter. How, even if he was on call, he would _go out of his way_ to see Keith and get dinner with him. And how he would leave Keith a sweet note if he was called out in the middle of the night.

Keith stopped again, rubbing his hands over his knees hard as he tried to psyche himself up for the next part.

He told Lance how they found the perfect house about a half hour away from the apartment, how Shiro had saved up money to surprise Keith with a key to the front door, but understood that Keith wanted to keep the apartment because it was almost walking distance to campus. He told Lance how Keith would drive to the house after class to have dinner with Shiro. He told Lance how Red would alternate weeks between homes.

He told Lance how living in separate homes was probably the worst decision they had made.

He had to stop and restart a few times as he tried to tell Lance about Allura. He told him how Allura had just started off as a work-buddy for Shiro.

He told him about the night he walked into the front door to see Allura, effortlessly beautiful with her perfect skin and long hair, sitting on _his spot_ and flirting with _his boyfriend_ and how _his boyfriend_ was blatantly _flirting back_.

He told Lance how Shiro had stopped paying attention, stopped surprising him, stopped making time for Keith. He told Lance how he stopped finding notes, stopped receiving ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ texts.

He told Lance how he had become paranoid and had started to _stalk_ his boyfriend because he didn’t _trust him_. He told Lance how he saw them together and how it had made him _sick_.

He told Lance that Shiro said that he had never cheated on him. He told Lance that he didn’t know if he truly believed that.

Hands shaking, he whispered that even after everything, whether Shiro had or had not cheated, he had admitted to having feelings for her.

Heart thumping in his chest, Keith took a shuddery breath and scrubbed his cheeks with the back of his hand. He kept his eyes forward, gaze resting on the frame of Lance’s bed even as it blurred.

He told Lance _everything_ about his relationship with Shiro.

And by the end Keith was sobbing, clutching his chest, and just trying to get through telling Lance how he had left Shiro. How he had driven off, leaving his phone in Shiro’s hands because he _wouldn’t have been able to leave_ if Shiro had called him. How he would have stayed if Shiro had told him to _the first time_ because even after _everything_ he still wanted Shiro to choose Keith first.

He sobbed so hard he couldn’t breathe, repeating over and over how much it _hurt to leave him_.

“It _hurts_ , Lance! It hurts _so bad_ and I just want it to _stop_! I don’t want to _hurt_ anymore! It _hurts_. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it _hurts_!”

Lance, without thinking, immediately grabbed Keith and pulled him into a tight hug, tears on Keith’s behalf falling down his cheeks. He didn’t flinch when Keith latched onto him like a vise, nearly crushing his ribs as he _held on for dear life,_ sobbing incomprehensibly about how much he was _hurting_.

They only had time for Keith’s story that night, but Lance didn’t mind. Keith needed a lot more attention than he did.

****

Over the next year, they had managed to create a simple codeword for when they needed to spill their guts to one another: pineapple. It was a fruit neither of them enjoyed, but they both somehow liked on pizza? They had caught hell about it when the squadron celebrated passing the first year with a quick pizza party.

Almost every night had them speaking. If they weren’t speaking about their exes, they were complaining about their day. Complaining about the food. Complaining about the other members of their flight.

They bonded over complaining and soon enough they were almost best friends. Almost because Lance had “only one best friend who lived back home by the name of Hunk.”

After their status changed from ‘just roommates’ to ‘close friends’ Keith started to hear about Lance’s family. He balked at the continuous list of names Lance took _forever_ to list off and Lance laughed at his face, “What? Don’t have a big family?” Lance had teased.

Keith had grown quiet, dropping his gaze to the shoe in his hand that he was in the middle of polishing, “I don’t have any family.” He had said quietly, “Just my aunt and…” He had trailed off, lips trembling a bit.

The silence had grown between them before Lance dropped his shoe to the ground – a sudden, sharp noise in the awkward quiet – “And Shiro.” He had finished in a soft tone before shrugging his shoulders and continuing like what had happened, _hadn’t_ happened, “That’s ok though, because I have too much family. You can have some of mine.” He had paused and scratched his lip for a second before smirking, “You’d have to learn Spanish, of course, or they’d joke on you behind your back.”

Keith gave a weak smile before continuing to polish his shoes.

****

They had somehow made it through everything. They were officially pilots. After four _long_ years at the academy, they were pilots.

They were inseparable, and their commander must have realized that, because when Lance put in to be stationed near his hometown in Florida, Keith was allowed to be stationed there as well.

When they landed in Florida, Lance immediately perked up and started looking around.

“What are you looking for? A bed and a bowl of food? _Same._ ” Keith stood up and stretched as Lance began yanking their bags out of the overhead compartment.

“Mi _familia_ , Keith. In the next hour we’ll see them! You’ll finally meet the woman behind the baked goods.” Lance grabbed Keith’s hand and dragged him off the plane and through the terminal, not _actually_ knowing where he was going, but moving nonetheless.

“Lance, we’ve passed baggage like four times already.” Keith laughed and yanked on Lance’s hand to pull him to a stop. “And I’m only taking a guess now _because_ we’ve passed so many times, but I’m guessing your family is the large crowd with balloons and posters?”

Lance smacked his teeth and stopped, looking over at Keith, “¿No podrías haberme dicho eso _la primera vez_?” He groaned.

Keith inclined his head and smiled, “You know I don’t understand you when you talk like that. But, no, it was funnier to watch you run in circles.”

“You’re the worst person I’ve ever met and I’m no longer introducing you to my family.” Lance rolled his eyes and yanked Keith into a one-armed hug, squeezing his shoulder.

“Oh, don’t lie. You love me.” Keith laughed and wrapped his arm around Lance’s waist.

They began walking toward baggage, Lance’s eager smile splitting his face. “Do you remember the names I told you?”

“I mean, I know _names_ but I don’t know faces.”

“Too late to learn,” Lance whispered as the crowd all suddenly screamed.

“Hunk! Catch me!” Keith looked wide-eyed as Lance dropped his carry-on and sprinted at another man in fatigues before jumping and curling his legs to the side.

The soldier barely hesitated before opening his arms and executing a perfect catch, bright smile on his face, “Hey, Lance.”

Keith’s gaze snapped down, startled to find himself caged in from every direction by _children._ They were all basically clones of Lance – the same tan skin, brown eyes, and dark hair – and they were _staring._

Keith was about to say something, but the tallest (tall being used lightly, she barely came to his waist) turned to yell at Lance while sticking his arm up and dramatically pointing at Keith’s face, “Tio Lance, is this your _boyfriend_?”

“Yup! That means you have to be nice to him and give him a lot hugs and ask him a lot of questions!”

‘Wait, no- Please don’t touch!” Panic clutched Keith’s heart and he froze, hands up and palms out.

Surprisingly though, the kids left him alone to run over to Hunk and Lance, “Tio Lance!! Why are you lying! He’s too pretty to be your boyfriend!”

With the threat safely away, he dropped his hands and let out a sigh.

Keith flinched when he felt a small hand grab his own and he looked down to see a boy, about five or six years old, looking up at Keith with wide brown eyes.

“My name is Elijah Leonardo McClain and I’m six years old! Can you pick me up?” Keith blinked, name and face overlapping in his mind as he realized _this is Lance’s child._ And he was almost a spitting image.

Keith hesitated before stooping over and easily picking the boy up. “Hi Eli, my name is Keith and I’m two hundred years old.”

“Only Papa can call me Eli.” The boy let him know insistently, “And you can’t be two hundred because Papa said that’s too much.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Keith nodded, “You’re right, two hundred is way too much. Can I be six, too?”

“No, only me and Bran can be six.” Eli huffed, as if the answer was obvious.

Keith looked over at Lance, to see him standing next to Hunk and another, smaller, person – Pidge, if Keith remembered correctly. They were surrounded by the kids and all the rest of Lance’s family. Keith looked back to Elijah quickly, “Did you want to see your Papa?”

Elijah nodded and used his fist to rub his eyes, “Yeah. I missed him a lot but I talk to him on the phone _all_ the time and he said he was going to buy me a dog. He _promised._ ”

“What kind of dog? And what about your brother? Is Papa going to buy him a dog, too?”

Elijah shrugged and started to reach out to Lance as they approached.

Lance turned his head to watch them approach before doing a double take and smiling harder, cutting himself off mid-sentence to put his focus on Elijah, “There he is! My big boy! Come here let me get a look at how big you are!”

“Me too, Papa! Me too!” Keith’s eyes glanced down to see the first person so far who _didn’t_ look exactly like Lance.

He was tan with brown eyes, that was true, but he had discolored markings on his face and neck. His hands too, Keith noticed when he raised them to hang off of Lance’s uniform.

“Pick me up _too_ , Papa!” Bran’s voice dropped into a whine, one which was quickly cut off when Lance swooped down to pick him up in his free arm.

“Ok.” Lance gave each boy a sloppy, spit-covered kiss on their cheeks, “Who’s ready to _officially_ meet Keith? And, _no_ , to those of you _thick-headed_ siblings who keep asking me if we’re _really_ going out. We’re _just friends_.”

Everyone’s eyes turned to Keith and he froze, unconsciously creeping into Lance’s personal space, “Yeah, I’m, uh… I’m Keith… I love the food Lance shares.”

And suddenly they were all laughing and Lance was grinning and Hunk and Pidge were sharing sly smiles and Keith let out a small breath, feeling a lot less awkward as the adults started ushering them out of the airport.

“Wait, Lance, our bags.” Keith tried to stop and go back, but Lance’s laugh stopped him.

“Don’t worry, my brothers have our stuff. Pay back for me having to lug their shit around ten years ago.”

“Papa, ‘shit’ is a bad word and you’re not supposed to say it.” Elijah told Lance with a pat on his cheek, “I still love you, though.”

Lance jutted his chin out and pursed his lips, looking down on his son, “If _I’m_ not supposed to say it, why did _you_ say it?”

Elijah smiled and shrugged.

“Keith are you riding with us?” Lance turned to look at him, now walking backwards.

“’Us’?”

“The boys and me.” He jolted the twins and they let out squeals of laughter, “In my car. _Oh_ man, you’ve _got_ to see her, she’s _beautiful_. Did tio Marcus bring Papa’s car? Yeah? You ready to go for a ride?” Lance suddenly dropped the children a bit to startle them before gently setting them on their feet and taking their hands.

Keith smiled and followed Lance and the boys.

“Papa are we going to get my dog _now_?” Elijah asked loudly, tugging on Lance’s hand as he tried to run further into the parking lot.

“I want my dog, _too_! You said you would get _me_ a dog, _too_!”

“No, he _didn’t_! You’re _lying_ , Bran. Papa, he’s _lying_!”

Lance stopped and stooped down, looking his boys in the eyes. His voice got soft but stern as he talked to them, “If you two are good tonight, we’ll go get _both_ of you a dog tomorrow, ok? Because tio Hunk and tia Pidge are nice to us, they said both Eli and Bran can have their own dog, ok?” At the boys’ serious nods Lance smiled again, “Ok. Give me a kiss.” He looked over his shoulder at Keith and smiled deviously, “Go give Keith a big hug and a kiss too.”

Keith blinked before he saw the twins run back to him and he bent down to return their hugs and accept their kisses.

“We did it, Papa!” They exclaimed, bouncing right back over to their father.

“I gave Keef a _big_ kiss ‘cause he’s _two hundred years old!”_ Eli proclaimed loudly, taking his papa’s hand as they started to walk again, “He tried to be six, but _only_ me and Bran are six.”

“That’s right.” Lance nodded, fully convinced, “You tell that Keef that _only_ you and Bran are six!”

Keith shook his head and rolled his eyes.

It didn’t take much longer to get to Lance’s car, but Keith was surprised to see everyone standing around and waiting.

Lance wasn’t, and effortlessly picked up Bran to _throw him through the air,_ his laughter ringing out as he was caught just as effortlessly by Hunk.

“Lance, what did I tell you about throwing your children?” A woman stepped forward and smacked Lance over his head, sending his cap flying. He was laughing, but trying to hide it by reaching down to pick his hat up.

Eli took the opportunity to wrap his arms around Lance’s neck, “Me too! Me too!”

“Sorry, buddy.” Lance shook his head as he stood up, Eli hanging off by his grip around Lance’s neck. “Abuela said no more tossing.”

She gave Lance _a look_ before turning to Keith and smiling, “Keith, niño, we haven’t officially met.” She walked right into his space, but for once he didn’t mind. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and pulled his head down to give him a kiss on his forehead, “You’re a good one for my son. Maybe he’ll come to his senses and ask you out, yeah? And no cheap movie and fast food, he makes good enough money to take you to a sit-in restaurant. Order a steak with wine. Give him a run for his money.” She smiled a warm smile at him and he smiled back, reaching up to cup her hand with his own.

“I’m just not in the right headspace for a relationship right now, but I’ll keep the date idea in mind. He owes me enough money for a four-star restaurant.”

She laughed and let go of his face to take his hands, “You are a fool for letting the past dictate your life now, but you are still a good one. Funny too. Perfect for my baby.”

“ _Ma_! Stop shipping us! It isn’t going to happen!” Lance yelled, standing up after buckling his kids into the back of his car.

Keith saw the loving irritation wipe over her face as she turned around, “ _Ah_? You’re interrupting me Lance? ¿Me estás diciendo qué hacer? Ah? Have you lost your mind? ¡Será mejor que lo encuentres antes de venir y encontrarlo para ti! And what’s this about ships? Are we on a boat, Lance? ¿ _Ves_ un bote debajo de mis pies? No? Entonces deja de hablar de barcos!”

Lance’s mom’s Spanish came quick like a whip, too fast for Keith to even _try_ to follow, but Lance just smacked his lips and groaned, leaning his head back, “Ma, oh my God, that’s not what I meant.”

“Are you talking back to me now, Lance? You are not too old for me to azota tu tresero, ya? ¿Tu me entiendes?”

“Yeah, ma, I understand you.” He bent to give her a kiss on her cheek, “Te quiero, Mamá. Be safe. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

\--

“ _This_ is where you live?” Keith exclaimed, leaning forward in his seat to look up at the house, “Actually, no. This doesn’t surprise me at all.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Lance grumbled, a smile on his lips as he turned the car into the driveway. “It’s the _ungodly_ color of the door, isn’t it?”

“Wait, you didn’t authorize that?” Keith’s head whipped around to look at Lance, “That seems like a Lance trademark.” He raised an eyebrow and pulled his lips to the side.

“I admittedly asked for a purple door, but I was expecting _royal purple._ But since it was Hunk who painted it and he kept sending really cute pictures of the progress and saying how happy it made him that I let him paint the house, I don’t really mind.” He shrugged and turned the ignition off. “You never did tell me what you think about Blue, yet.”

“Are you fishing for a compliment on your car?”

“Unashamedly, yes.”

“It’s ugly.” Keith smirked at Lance’s exaggerated gasp.

“I like your car, Papa.” Bran’s sleepy voice came from the backseat and the airmen turned to look at the twins.

Elijah was still sleeping, head tilted to the side for his cheek to rest against his shoulder. His mouth was open a little and a small spit bubble had formed.

Bran, though, was sleepily rubbing his eyes before he started shifting restlessly a whine escaping his mouth, “Papa, I wanna get _out_.”

“Ok, ok, buddy. I’m coming. Keith, can you get Eli for me? Thanks.”

Keith paused, taken aback by the request but moving to fulfill it nonetheless. It took but a moment for him to exit the vehicle and open the back door. Eli almost woke up, yawning before moving his head to the other side as Keith unbuckled him and pulled him from the car.

Keith’s heart stopped for a minute when Eli curled up against him. It was such a small, normal thing, a child sleepily latching onto the closest thing touching them, but Keith’s heart _ached_. He suddenly started thinking about what _could_ have been.

Tears sprung to his eyes and he gave a small cough trying to dislodge the lump in his throat. He backed away and closed the door, looking up and seeing Lance across the hood.

His look was fond, though a bit concerned, as he also closed the car door. Bran was mirroring Eli, curled against Lance’s neck, but his eyes were open, and his hand was fisted on Lance’s lapel.

Lance waggled his eyebrows at Keith before turning to walk to the front door.

Keith followed wordlessly, trying to keep his thoughts quiet and his heart from hurting. Breathing was difficult, but when Lance reached forward to touch his cheek, he let out a breath and leaned into the touch.

He was here. He wasn’t _there_. He was across the country. He could do it, he was strong enough.

Lance opened the front door with a flourish and gestured for Keith to enter first.

Rolling his eyes, he took a step into the house and paused, “Uhh… Lance? Just _how much_ fun did Hunk have painting your house?”

“Now you see why I couldn’t tell him no. He’s such an adorable person.” Lance sighed with a small smile.

Keith watched Lance for a few minutes before something clicked, “Oh my god, you love him.” He let out a startled laugh and reached forward to put his hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“What? Of course, I love him! He’s my best friend!” Lance rolled his eyes and started to walk off into the house, Keith following closely. “This is your room by the way,” He pointed to a door before walking into the opposite room, “It’s across the hall from me and the boys. Hunk lucked out and took the room on the opposite side of the house.” He laughed.

Keith had a mischievous smile on his face, but waited until they had finished lying the twins down and moving into the living room. “Lance.” He started before flopping back on the couch, crossing his ankles, “You _gay-love_ Hunk. You’re _in_ gay-love with Hunk.”

Lance leaned back against the wall across the room, a blush coloring his cheeks, “Oh my god, I _totally_ do. I totally _am_! What am I going to do, Keith? I can’t just blurt it out before prom! He doesn’t even wear tuxes!”

“That was a cheap shot and you’re an ass.” Keith laughed before stretching, “He’s your best friend, right? Why don’t you just talk to him? I mean… He does live here, so you can’t, like, avoid him or anything.”

“That’s a fantastic idea, I’m going to avoid him.” Lance snapped his fingers, “I’m going to move as far away as I can before anonymously calling his phone every couple of weeks just to hear his voice because no matter what I say, I’m not over him.”

Keith froze, staring at Lance, who stared back.

Lance tilted his head to the side, expression softening, “Keith, you really need to stop hurting yourself like that.”

Suddenly, Keith was overtaken by blinding rage and he jumped to his feet, finger pointing accusingly at Lance, “You’re an _asshole_ , Lance McClain, and you have no _fucking_ right to _judge_ me!”

“I’m not judging y-” Lance tried to backtrack, raising his hands in a peaceful gesture.

“You have _no right_!” He stormed off, almost crashing into Hunk, who was coming into the house, in the hallway.

In Hunk’s hands was a cake – one of the generic ones from a grocery store – and Keith almost made Hunk drop it, “Woah!” The big man’s voice wobbled as the cake did.

Keith’s hands reacted automatically, moving to stabilize the cake before it crashed to the floor.

“Thanks Keith,” Hunk smiled, but paused when he saw Keith’s face, “Wait, are you ok? What happened?”

“Nothing.” He rubbed his cheeks with the back of his hand, in case there were tears, “I’m tired. Goodnight, Hunk. It was nice to meet you.” He scooted around Hunk and walked quickly into his room before closing and locking the door and moving to lay on the bed.

Lying face down for who knows how long, he thought about what Lance said. It pissed him off, but only because it was true. Rolling onto his back, he dug his phone out of the pocket of his fatigues and breathed out while looking at it. He turned the device on and unlocked the screen before opening his Facebook app. He wasn’t logged into his profile, of course, but he had created a fake, almost empty, one in the last year. He had only one friend on the website and hesitated before clicking on the profile.

Slowly, he started to scroll down the page, heart clenching as he looked at the most recent photos. There was Shiro, _beautiful_ Shiro, with his squadron. It was much too easy for Keith to pick him out of the picture. _He looks the same,_ Keith thought sadly. Zooming in on the picture, Keith softly moved his thumb over the screen, wishing he could touch him again.

  _Maybe Lance is right… I really should stop…_

He let out a loud breath before exiting Facebook and opening his phone app to dial a number he knew by heart. Placing the phone by his ear, he waited.

 _Brriiing, brriiing, brriiing, brriing._ His heart started to pound, the worries of if he would answer the phone this time flying through his mind. _Brriiing, brriiing, brriing._ Keith swallowed, thumb twitching as he debated on hanging up before it went to voicemail. He hadn’t looked at the time, what if Shiro was awake? _Brriing, brriing, brriiiing._

_Click._

_This is Takashi Shirogane’s phone. Sorry I couldn’t answer right now, but leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can._

Keith waited as Shiro’s voice paused, wondering if the end of the recording had been taken off yet. Wondering if Shiro had given him up yet.

_Keith…_

Keith’s heart clenched, and his mouth dried, tears springing to his eyes.

_If you’re there… I still love you._

Keith closed his eyes as an automated female voice began: _Please record your message after the tone. When you are finished recording, press 1 for more options._

_Beep._

Keith sighed, opening his eyes, “I can’t…” He licked his lips, breath shuddering, “This has to stop… Shiro… Stop thinking about me… Stop _loving me…”_ His voice broke around a sob, “It’s been four years… Move on. _Please_.” His message ended in a whisper and he hung up before tossing it to the end of the bed.

Methodically, with tears blurring his vision, he reached down to untie his boots. He then stood to pull off his fatigues before lying on the bed and curling up on his side under the covers.

His tears fell soundlessly, streaming over his nose and down his temple to collect on the fabric of his pillowcase.

He didn’t sleep well that night.

\--

In the morning, Keith rolled out of bed and stretched, rubbing his eyes as he shuffled his way into the kitchen. His eyes were tired, his hair was a mess, and he was only in a pair of boxers and an undershirt.

He was startled awake as something slammed into his legs, almost throwing him off balance.

He looked down to see Bran hanging onto his legs with frosting smeared over his cheek, “Hi Keef.”

“Mornin’, Bran,” Keith raised an eyebrow and looked up, seeing Lance and Hunk sitting rather close at the table and Eli shoving cake into his face. When Eli heard Keith’s voice, he slid off of his chair and ran over to join in on the hug, “Morning, Elijah.”

“Hey Keith!” Hunk smiled and waved, a bowl of cereal for him, “The cake was supposed to be for yours and Lance’s arrival yesterday, but the boys saw it and Lance let them have a piece.” He turned his head to Lance and lifted his eyebrows.

“Puppy eyes, a McClain classic. I couldn’t resist.” He looked away and took a sip of what Keith assumed to be coffee. “Alright, boys, finish your breakfast so you can go to school.”

Keith laughed as the twins groaned before walking back to the table, “Wait, it’s a Saturday? How do they have school?”

Hunk was the one who answered, picking his now empty bowl off the table and moving to the sink, “Well, it’s not really ‘school’? On the weekends, and after school during the week, they go to a group on post to help develop social skills. They also learn really cool songs.”

Almost as if cued, both boys began to sing the days of the week, “Lunes, Martes, Miercoles, Jueves. Lunes, Martes, Miercoles, Jueves. Lunes, Martes, Miercoles, Jueves…. _Viernes, Sabado, Domingo!”_

“My sister taught them _that one_ though.” Lance smiled, watching his children wave their forks as if they were conductor batons. After Elijah took the last bite of his cake, Lance clapped his hands, “Vamonos! Vamos! Go wash your faces _quickly_.” He shooed them off as he picked up their dishes and moved to the sink, stopping to kiss Hunk’s cheek.

Both of their faces reddened, and Keith’s eyebrows rose again, “I guess congratulations are in order?” His voice was teasing, and he reached for Lance as he passed, ready to tickle his sides.

“Don’t you start, mullet boy.” Lance warned, face flushing even more as he slapped Keith’s hands before rushing off to his and the boy’s rooms.

Keith turned his teasing smile on Hunk, who had his head down, concentrating on washing the dishes a bit too much.

Down the hall, two voices shrieked before Lance could be heard yelling about playing in the water.

Taking a deep breath, Keith padded across the linoleum to pat Hunk’s back before moving to the fridge, “I’m happy for you two.” His words were nonchalant as he pulled out a bottle of orange juice before pausing, “Uh… Cups?” He followed Hunk’s pointed finger to a cabinet over the microwave and nodded his thanks before grabbing one and pouring himself a glass.

He sat at the table quietly after putting the bottle away and frowned at the hard wood. Last night was fresh in his mind and his heart clenched. _What if he calls back? What if he changes his voicemail message? What if he tracks me down?_

His thoughts were interrupted by Hunk’s hand on his shoulder, “Whatever you’re worrying about? Leave it alone. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. Treasure it.”

Keith knew Hunk was trying to help, but his words hit Keith deep in the wrong way. He smiled and nodded nonetheless, “Thanks, Hunk. I’ll try to remember that.”

They both looked over as three pairs of feet slapped against the hardwood of the hallway, “First one who gets his shoes laced up gets chocolate!” Lance shouted, throwing himself to the floor to tug on his boots. The boys screamed and threw themselves onto him, Bran knocking his hands away from his laces before stealing his boots and running, screaming, into the kitchen to drop them at Hunk’s feet.

Immediately he ran back, still screaming as loud as he could, to also toss himself onto the floor to pull on a pair of snow boots. Eli tumbled off Lance to pull on a pair of children’s Timberlands.

He twined his laces together (not _at all_ tied) before standing up, hands on his hips as he grinned. Bran copied his pose, boots velcroed correctly. Suddenly they both shouted “ _Chocolate!_ ”

Lance reached forward to tickle their stomachs, the boys howling with laughter, “Cheaters don’t get chocolate! And Eli, your shoes aren’t even laced properly! Bran, your shoes don’t _have_ laces! Chocolate for _no one_!”

He stood up to retrieve his boots and pull them on in the kitchen, unable to stop chuckling as the boys whined from the front door. “We’re off!” He told Hunk and Keith, “I’ll be back soon.” He moved to the fridge to pull out one pink and one blue Pokemon lunchbox before moving back to the door, “Ok, who has Togepi?” Eli grunted, reaching for his lunchbox, “Ok, Eli, this is yours, so that means Bran has Pikachu! _Vamos._ ”

The door opened and closed, and the screaming was finally muffled.

Keith poured himself a glass of orange juice and finished it before returning to his room to curl up once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8.5K? Great way to start this thing out, if you ask me!
> 
> Translations: (Quick note: I do not speak spanish, so this is google translate's version)  
> “¿No podrías haberme dicho eso _la primera vez?"_ = "Could you not have told me that _the first time?_ "  
> Tio/Tia = Uncle/Aunt  
> niño = boy, child, kid; I don't really know how to explain it but its sort of a term of endearment for someone younger than yourself? There's not really an english word I can think of with the same connotation except when old dudes call a younger guy 'son' or 'sonny.'  
> “Ah? You’re interrupting me Lance? ¿Me estás diciendo qué hacer? Ah? Have you lost your mind? ¡Será mejor que lo encuentres antes de venir y encontrarlo para ti! And what’s this about ships? Are we on a boat, Lance? ¿Ves un bote debajo de mis pies? No? Entonces deja de hablar de barcos!” = "Huh? You're interrupting me, Lance? You're telling me what to do? Huh? Have you lost your mind? You better find it before I come and find it for you! And what's this about ships? Are we on a boat, Lance? Do you see a boat under my feet? No? Then stop talking about boats!"  
> “Are you talking back to me now, Lance? You are not too old for me to azota tu tresero, ya? ¿Tu me entiendes?” = “Are you talking back to me now, Lance? You are not too old for me to whip/beat/spank your ass/butt, yeah? Do you understand me?"  
> “Te quiero, Mamá." = "I love you, Mom."  
> “Lunes, Martes, Miercoles, Jueves. Lunes, Martes, Miercoles, Jueves. Lunes, Martes, Miercoles, Jueves…. Viernes, Sabado, Domingo!” = "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Friday, Saturday, Sunday!"  
> “Vamonos! Vamos!" = "Let's go! Let's go!"

**Author's Note:**

> Big shout out to everyone who read this! I couldn't do it without you!  
> Feel free to leave a comment below and let me know what you thought~  
> (You can also send me an anonymous [ask](thespiritofeon.tumblr.com/ask) on my [tumblr](thespiritofeon.tumblr.com), if you're too shy to leave one here!)
> 
>  
> 
> [Please consider buying me a ko-fi!](https://ko-fi.com/A3714P0Z)
> 
>  
> 
> Once more, I don't mind if you have any issues with Sheith, just don't bring your hate here, ok? Let's stay civil.


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